


The Elyza Lex Chronicles of Awesomeness

by LeksaLover



Category: Elyza Lex (Fanverse), The 100 (TV)
Genre: BAMF Elyza Lex, ClexaReborn, F/F, Love, QueerTheWalkingDead, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:43:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6437752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeksaLover/pseuds/LeksaLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Elyza Lex Chronicles of Awesomeness, as told by Elyza Lex.</p><p>In the which story, Elyza Lex is determined to document her life and survival story during the zombie apocalypse to sell to a movie producer. One day, when chillaxing in a lawn chair with a drink, a strange girl interrupts her plans (and her theme song) with an agenda of her own. </p><p>(I intend to make this story multi-chaptered)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Zombies Burn Red in a Beautiful Hue

The Elyza Lex Chronicles of Amazingness (According to Elyza Lex)

Chapter 1  
Life is about more than just surviving. Right? I repeated the words in my head over and over and over, but I couldn’t remember where they had come from. Not that it mattered, considering the circumstances. How was one supposed to do more than survive in the literal zombie apocalypse anyways? 

Well, not to brag or anything, but I did my best. 

If life is about more than just surviving, what better way to ride out the apocalypse than as a super dope, motorcycle-riding zombie-slayer? 

I’m working on my theme song, just in case the world gets put back together and I need to compete with other people to sell my story rights to a movie producer. I feel as though it would really help my case. I’ve also been carrying around a battery-powered video camera to get real-life footage of my awesome exploits. 

“I’m Elyyyyyyyza, Elyza Lex! I’m surviving, surviving, the best!” 

Unfortunately, my singing scares people away and brings the mouth-breathers in. It’s as though I actually sound like a dying animal, because they come like vultures. It’s no biggie, though, because you can hear them breathing and moaning from a mile away, so it’s not like they can get me or anything. 

Until, one day, a girl brought me a whole army of them as a sweet-hearted housewarming gift. 

I first saw her coming from a far off, from where I had duct-taped a lawnchair to the top of a broken-down truck. I probably looked comedic to her- reclining under an umbrella with sunglasses on my face and a drink in my hand in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. She was still several blocks away, managing a good two, three blocks or so lead on the horde, so I decided to get out my camera. 

I was only filming for a few seconds when I decided I better get ready to help, so I kept filming while closing the umbrella, putting on my leather jacket- when suddenly, the girl collapsed, and I panicked, dropping the camera where I stood. 

I disregarded my helmet and my bag, jumping on my bike and kickstarting it so quickly my knee popped unpleasantly, speeding towards the horde before I realized I had no idea how to save her if she wasn’t conscious enough to hold on. 

“HEY!! YOU!! GET UP, I NEED YOU TO GET UP!” I shouted into the wind, but the words were thrown back into my mouth. 

“Bugger, you wankers.” I pulled up next to her when the first of the mouth-breathers was only 20 feet away.

“GET UP, I NEED YOU TO LISTEN TO ME.” 

The girl on the ground looked up, and her green eyes pierced the panic in my heart, igniting it into a fury. 

“Please get on.”

“Well, since you said please.” 

“You can snark right now, really?” I was relieved when her arms circled around me.

“You can handle it, Miss Recliner.” 

“Oh yeah?” I smirked, emboldened by her embrace, “My name is Elyza, and I’d like to see you handle this.” I gunned the bike, screeching away moments before the Elyza Lex Chronicles of Awesomeness would have ended before they had had a chance to truly begin. 

When we got back to my outpost, I braked, killing the engine. 

“What?!” The beautiful girl riding behind me shrieked, her grip tightening in a not altogether unpleasant way that prevented my getting off, “Why are we stopping?!”

“Do you trust me?” I asked her, twisting to look her in the eyes.

“I do trust you, Elyza.” 

“Good. Then come on.” I led her off the bike, and into the bed of the truck, trying not to focus on the fact that she had let me hold her hand. I opened a cooler and dug through it, finding my extra bottle of lemonade. 

“Lemonade?” I offered it to her. She took it from me more out of surprise than actual desire for the lemonade, I think, because then she asked me, “Please tell me we didn’t stop for this lemonade.” 

“Something wrong with me wanting to get a pretty gal like you a drink?” I couldn’t help but flirt, dragging out her cluelessness even as I held the detonator in my hand.

“Yes, actually, since we are being pursued by hundred of creatures that want to eat us!” 

“Relax, Gorgeous. I won’t let them eat you. Check this out.” I brought out my awesome shiny toy, showing off.  
“This is Big D. He’s been my sidekick thus far on the Elyza Lex Chronicles of Awesomeness, and now you, you lucky girl, get to see him in action.” 

“Is that a detonator? Is that why we stopped?” 

“Yes, Big D is a detonator.” I sighed, Why’d she have to ask so many questions and interrupt my speech for, anyhow?

“I stole him from the army that was stationed here a month or so ago. Him and his friends, that is.” I gestured at the street. 

“What friends?”

“Oh, they’ll make themselves known. It’s time to blow these suckers.” 

“Together?”

“Together.”

On the screen of the then-forgotten video camera I had dropped to the ground, the world burst into color- hues of red, red, yellow, orange, red, and more red, the zombies burst into flames. 

“Were Big D’s friends the bombs?” The girl rolled her eyes at me, smiling.

“Yes.” I was defensive, but also too distracted by the fact that our hands were still connected on the remote to come up with a better answer.

“Aren’t you the creative one?” She withdrew her hand, drawing it through her hair in an exhausted sort of way.

“I thought I was more of the romantic type. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Zombies burn red in a beautiful hue.”

“Oh, so romantic.” Maybe it was the fire down the street, or maybe it was the fire in her heart that colored her cheeks red in a totally endearing way. However, it was that endearing flush that reminded me that she had just collapsed, and made me worry about her.

“It’s rude to deny a drink a hot girl like myself gets for you, by the way. Especially after you collapsed and scared her half to death and she worries about your health.” 

“Are you a hot girl? I thought your name was Elyza.” The girl commented with far more sass and emphasis than her jumbled words backed up.

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive, you know, and I must confess that your comeback makes no sense to me. What’s your name, anyhow?” 

“Oh, I’m Alicia. Alicia Clark.” 

“Drink the lemonade, Alicia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and remember, #ClexaNeverDies


	2. The Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Elyza takes a girl home *gasp* and shows off her apocalyptic talents. Basically fluff.

After collecting my stuff, including my only slightly scratched up camera, and hightailing it out of there before any half-burnt zombies came crawling after us out of the mess, we were out on the open road, heading towards what I affectionately called “The Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex”, but what Alicia seemed to prefer calling my home.

I would get her to use totally rad nicknames for everything if it was the last thing I did. 

“I’m Elyyyyyyyyyza, Elyza Lex! I’m surviving, surviving the best!” I sang in victory as we approached my stronghold, my infamous dwelling of food and sleep and-

“What is that?” Alicia asked me, shouting to be heard over the wind and the motor.

“IT’S MY THEME SONG! DO YOU LIKE IT?” It took her a moment to answer, so that I had parked and we had both dismounted the bike before she spoke again. 

“Decidedly not. We should work on that. Also, why do you need a theme song?”

“I’M GOING TO BE A FAMOUS MOVIE STAR! I NEED A THEME SONG!!” I let go of the arm I had been holding to steady her and threw my arms above my head, jumping as high as I could for emphasis.

“That wasn’t a song, first off. Second off, it doesn’t even make sense. Third off, stop shouting. Fourth off, if you didn’t kidnap me with the intent to feed me, I intend to leave.” I frowned at her. How wasn’t it a song? And it made total sense. 

“We’ll discuss your first three complaints at a later date, however, your fourth suggestion of food is too tempting to resist, so WELCOME, TO-”

“Yes, yes, this is your ‘Impenetrable Fortress’ or whatever.” I stared at her, disappointed by her interruption. Stubbornly, I made no move to go towards the house and instead glared at her, focusing hard in a (probably) futile attempt to raise one eyebrow at her. 

“Fine,” she sighed. “You can say it.”

I beamed at her. She was learning how things go around here. I held one finger up to stall her, however, and removed the camera from my bag, turning it on and flipping the view screen to record myself. I threw one arm over Alicia’s shoulder, and then shouted to the tiny red light, “WELCOME TO THE IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS OF ELYZA LEX!!”

It wasn’t until I rewatched the footage several weeks later that I learned Alicia had mastered the art of looking bemused while flinching after only an hour of meeting me. 

“Are you this loud when you’re alone, too?” Alicia had asked me as we walked up those steps together for the first time.

“You betcha.”

“How are you even still alive? The walkers are attracted to noise.”

“Is that what you call them? I call them mouth-breathers. Or wankers. One time one of them came at me and made me drop the last pack of oreos in a puddle and I called him a bloody wanker.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. You are literally a beacon of sound, with your motorcycle, and your theme song, and the shouting. How are you still alive?”

“Because I am a badass motherfucker, and I have the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex.” 

“That sums it up nicely. One more question, though, are you going to take every single opportunity there is to say, ‘Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex’?”

“Of course I will take every opportunity to say the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex. Why wouldn’t I say the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex? The Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex is where you will be dining tonight. The Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex is where you will be sleeping tonight, because the doors of the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex open for no one for no reason after 7:30 pm which is in 15 minutes and the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex is no fast food restaurant. The Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex offers splendid nighttime entertainment, where you can blow the shit out of walkers who try to crash the party and penetrate the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex. Since the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex is equipped with it’s own electricity generator, you can charge your phone, watch movies, and hold disco dance parties, as long as you obey Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex house rules. The Impenetrable Fortress-” 

Alicia put her finger to my lips, shushing me, “Alright, alright, I see the point. Show me your oh-so-shiny and impenetrable castle already.” 

“My what?” I prodded, even though I reached into my jacket for the keys.

“Show me the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex. I want the grand tour of everything- particularly the kitchen.” Although she rolled her eyes, I was appeased by her words, and grandly opened the door for her. 

“And who said chivalry was dead?” I quipped as she walked through, my eyes being involuntarily drawn downwards to-

“Your eyes checking me out like you’ve never seen a butt before.” She returned, eyeing me herself when I turned to lock the doors, bolting all 7 locks. 

“Not like yours, I haven’t.” I smirked when her face flushed, but instead of staring at the beautiful splendor that was her blush, I chivalrously led the way into the kitchen. 

“This is the Grand Eating Hall of the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex!” I grandly announced, but instead of looking at my brightly colored walls and the Harry Potter stickers all over the fridge, she looked at me and asked, “How long have you been alone?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean that most people don’t name everything after themselves or give bombs nicknames, and I’m wondering how long you’ve been alone.” I frowned at her. I’m not crazy.

“I’ve been alone since before the apocalypse. I moved here from Australia 5 years ago on my own, and got this place in the middle of nowhere. I completely customized it to my 17-year old self’s greatest wishes and desires. But, and this is important, I haven’t gone crazy, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’ve always given nicknames to things. Even in high school I insisted on calling milk ‘moomoo’ and juice ‘juju’.” 

“Oh, so you were born crazy.” She nodded, finally taking in all of the weirdness that was my home. I flushed when her eyes rested on my wall of paintings in the back. The entire wall was covered in overlapping work, and while I only hung up works of the very best quality, I wasn’t sure what Alicia would think of the few detailed paintings of nude women I had hanging up. I noticed the exact moment when she saw the first one, because she opened her mouth and took in a short breath of air before she said, “And quirky.” 

“About that food, though.” I chuckled nervously as she continued to survey my work. Now that she was here, I was nervous, wondering if she would like it here, and if she would want to stay. I didn’t know anything about her except that I innately trusted and wanted to protect her. I didn’t know if she had a family she needed to go back to, or, my heart squeezed, a boyfriend or girlfriend searching frantically for her. 

Much to my relief, the mention of food brought Alicia’s attention back to me. “What food is there?” 

I smirked. Thanks to my successful looting skills, I was able to ask confidently, “What do you want?” I had even managed to snag several boxes of bacon from the back of a nearby Costco facility. While people were great at looting the shelves in the store, the back rooms were left nearly untouched. The boxes you had to climb to get, since the machinery to get them was broken, were all mine for the taking. I had gotten as many perishables as I could into the pickup truck now parked in my garage. The basement had turned into a huge aisle of walk in freezers, as the local appliance store was also one of the last places someone else would think to ransack during the apocalypse. 

She snorted, laughing, “You act like you own a well supplied five-star restaurant. You can’t possibly have that much food.” I raised an eyebrow at her in defiance before relenting, “Okay, fine. The Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex isn’t a five star joint and if you ask me to serve you fish, fresh vegetables, or fresh fruit other than the peaches from the trees lining the driveway, you are indeed out of luck. What do you want?” 

She opened her mouth to argue again, but I cut her off, “Oh yeah, also no fancy as fuck food that I haven’t even heard of, or like weird foreign delicacy shit like snails. I mean, I could find you snails, but I didn’t go through all the trouble of saving you so that you could just go right ahead of die of food poisoning because you wanted snails.” 

“Pizza, then?” She asked challengingly, but I just smirked even deeper, “What topping would you like, oh esteemed visitor?” 

“Pepperoni is fine.” She eyed me curiously, glancing at the fridge behind me, which was small and had one of those tiny top freezers that can only hold like one container’s worth of ice cream and a gallon ziploc of cookie dough balls. 

“Be a dear and turn the oven on to 375, will you? The restaurant is short-staffed tonight.” I winked, and turned to leave the room so I could go downstairs to get the pizza, but her voice stopped me, full of a sudden fear that I had never heard before. 

“Where are you going?” I turned around immediately, seeing the wide look in her eyes, “It’s okay if you don’t have the pizza, you don’t have to go- go out there.”

“Hey, hey.” I held her shoulder, hoping that the physical reminder of my presence would calm her, “Relax, I was just going downstairs.” 

Her eyes were still wide and fearful, and it made me want to fight every walker in the entire world so she would feel safe again. 

“Don’t leave me alone.” She whispered, “Please don’t leave me alone.”

“You’re okay. I won’t. I won’t leave you alone. I promise. It’s okay. You can come with me. Let’s just get the oven going first, okay?” She nodded, but when I let go of her shoulder and let it trail down her arm, her hand caught mine in a firm grip. I was surprised, but didn’t pull away, instead giving her hand a squeeze and a reassuring smile. I could turn the oven on one-handed anyways. 

When we reached the basement, the first thing I did was turn on all the lights so Alicia wouldn’t be so scared anymore. When I did, I was horrified by what I saw. The room was full of walkers! There were about 20 of them ripping apart my freezers and going after my bacon and- haha, tricked you. This is the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex after all. When the lights turned on, Alicia stopped cutting off the circulation in my hand, and I flexed my fingers in her grip. 

“Oh! Sorry!” Unfortunately, the act of trying to restore blood to my fingers made her quickly let go of my hand. Instead of inwardly moping, I moved on, gesturing around the basement: “Impressive, right?” 

I lied again. I can gesture and mope about the pretty girl letting go of my hand all at the same time. Her beautiful green eyes were widened in wonder at all of the freezers. 

“Pizza and other meaty things are to the left, Dairy is to the right, and miscellaneous other things are straight ahead. Stuff like frozen fruit, vegetables, juice, pies, cookies, potatoes, et cetera, et cetera.” I moved to the left, looking at my cleverly crafted signs to determine which freezer had the means to impress Alicia’s tastebuds. 

“I like your signs,” Alicia commented, “they’re really poetic. ‘Potato Shit Stuff’ scrawled out onto the inside of a cereal box with a sharpie and duct taped to a stolen freezer is almost Shakespeare. I see now why you think you need a theme song. This is the stuff of legend.”

“Yeah, yeah, miss sarcastic pants. If you think you can make better signs than me, go right ahead. First, though, pick out a soda from the rack in the corner.” I had already retrieved two medium pizzas, but I didn’t want to leave her down here by herself. 

“How do I get over there?” 

“I usually climb over the freezers. Creating pathways in here would be such a waste of precious space. Plus, it makes me feel like I’m breaking all the rules no one else ever thought to break. How many people can honestly say they’ve crawled over freezers before? Not many.”

“You’re just about the weirdest person I’ve ever met, you know that?” She laughed at me as she easily slid over the rows of freezers to pick her soda. 

“Just about??” I was indignant, “Who else is there? Where do they live? Why are they better than me?” 

“You like Root Beer, Miss Jealous of the Theoretically Weirder Person?” 

“Wouldn’t have stashed it if I didn’t. Also, for the record, you use nicknames just as much as I do.” 

“Only for you.” 

“Aw, how sweet.” 

“Let’s just get the fuck out of your basement, Elyza. Basements were creepy before the apocalypse.” 

I link arms with her, assuring her that “My basement would take offense to that, only you’re too beautiful to be mad at for long.” 

When we reach the top of the stairs and I turn off the light, I lock the door to my basement for the first time since living there. Alicia relaxes when the lock clicks into place and I smile to myself, having achieved what I wished in making her feel safer. 

Sitting in the kitchen waiting for the pizza to be ready consists mostly of her interrogating me, which I comply with even though I want to know everything about her, because I want her to be as comfortable as possible around me. When I pull out a hard boiled egg to eat while the pizza is cooking, she laughingly calls me impatient before realizing that I have an egg. 

“You can freeze eggs??” She asks excitedly, “I didn’t know you could freeze eggs!! We can make pancakes and stuff now!” 

“I don’t actually know if you can freeze eggs, but I do have some chickens. I’ll show you tomorrow. I put up a metal fence after the walkers started hanging around, but they mostly stay away from here because I set up an elementary school bell to ring constantly and loudly all the time. All the walkers tend to head over there now, so even when I start my bike or car and stuff, there doesn’t tend to be as much of an issue with them around anymore.” 

“What happens when the chickens you have die?” 

“Luckily for me, I have a rooster. There are two enclosures; one is for the flock I want to continue breeding, and the other is for the flock I want unfertilized eggs from. This way there are little baby chicks being born all the time. All I have to do is pick out a couple to add to the laying flock every so often. I want to get some cows, too, if this apocalypse is gonna be awhile cause me living without my moomoo is a very sad, very depressed me.” 

“We wouldn’t want that to happen.” She smiles, “But where on earth would we find a cow?” My hearts beats faster and faster. That’s the third time she has said “we” in the last 2 minutes or so.

Luckily for me and my flustered brain, the oven timer buzzed just then. Dinner at the Grand Dining Hall of the Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex is served.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review, i always try to reply to comments. :) Points to anyone who can count how many times I typed "The Impenetrable Fortress of Elyza Lex" lol. I wrote it a ridiculous number of times. You could even make a game out of it. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this.  
> Long Live Lexa


	3. Third Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too tired to add a good summary right now. maybe later?

Chapter 3

I don’t know how to describe how dinner went. Alicia should not be allowed to make those noises in my presence until- well. I don’t know. Certainly not the first night we’ve met, over dinner, before I have ascertained if she is straight or not. 

“How long has it been since you had pizza?” I haven’t touched my drink, despite the fact that I was desperate to cool down. I was afraid I would choke on it. 

“I don’t even know. Recently it’s just been canned this, canned that. This is marvelous!”

“I’m glad you think so.” I tried to smirk, but just then, my watch alarm went off. 

‘What’s that mean?” Even with a mouth full of pizza, Alicia looked impossibly beautiful. It was like she could do no wrong. 

“I have to go crank the generator.” I pause, looking at her carefully, before asking, “Are you gonna be okay in here or do you wanna come with?”

“Is it okay if I come?” 

“Yeah, I just offered didn’t I?” I winked at her, “I’m more than happy to be escorted everywhere by a pretty lady such as yourself.” 

“You’re so full of it.” She rolled her eyes at me, punching my arm lightly.

“Full of that pizza? Mmm, by golly, you’re right!” 

“You know what I meant!”

“Is that a thing that I know? Anyhoo, it’ll be a good thing for you to learn to do this, just in case something happens to me. If I miss a day of cranking it, all of that food in the basement will go bad, and that would not be a good thing.” She looks like she wants to say something more, but instead, she grabs a slice of pizza to go, nodding to indicate that she’s ready. I’m reluctant to bring her back down in the basement, but more reluctant to leave her alone, so it’s back down the rabbit hole we go. 

When I unlock the door, Alicia grabs my hand, and even though her fingers are greasy from the pizza, I smile because it’s real, because I’m not alone anymore, because she reaches for me when she is scared. I decide to talk, because talking is what I do best- talking to the walls, talking the bombs, talking to the walkers when they try to eat me, talking to my food, talking to the air…

“Whatcha wanna do after this, Princess?” I frown, distracted suddenly, “Princess doesn’t suit you too well, beautiful.” I stop to look her over. 

“How about Commander?” She rolls her eyes at my suggestion, something she has begun to do quite frequently by now, “I assure you that ‘Alicia’ works just fine.” 

I shake my head at her. What a silly goose. If I’m gonna call her commander, I’ll call her commander, assurances or no assurances.

“Commander it is. Heda for short.” 

“How on earth is Heda short for Commander? That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Neither do you, Heda. Deal with it. I’m certainly learning to. Deal with you, that is.” There is a moment of silence in which we both stare at each other awkwardly, and my face flushes as I realize the idiocy that just came out of my mouth.

“Let me start again.”

“Please.”

“What activity would you like to participate in tonight, after we complete this task, Commander?” 

“That sounded fucking suggestive. You making a move there?”

“I don’t know, am I?” Playing coy is good, right? Flirting-wise? I’m a mess.

“Crank the fucking lever, Elyza.”

“Is the increase in profanity an indicator of arousal?” Fuck. What did I just say? I almost stop what I’m doing and turn around in fear, apologizing for my stupid mouth, but then she’s talking again.

“You fucking wish, don’t you?” I must admit that I did wish, very much. I swallow hard. 

“How’s a movie sound?” Movies are neutral, right? No harm, no foul? 

“A movie sounds good.” Sigh of relief. 

“What kind of movies do you like?” I want to know more about her, and this seems like a good way to start, until she gives me the vaguest answer of vague answers. 

“Movies movies that are movies. What kind of movies do you have?” 

“GAYMOVIES.” I blurted, because what was the point of being brazen and writing your own theme song if you weren’t open about your gayness? 

“What? Slay movies? You don’t like movies? What else is there to do around here?” 

The point of being brazen and writing a theme song was to have fun, not to make a fool out of yourself, so I don’t bother to correct her and instead remind her of my cool tower and blowing stuff up. 

“I think we’ve caused enough explosions for one day, don’t you?” I open my mouth to correct this silly girl on her nonsense, to tell her about how my record for explosions a day in this apocalypse is actually 14, not simply 1, but she puts her finger to my lips before any words come out, “shush, you. Let’s play a quiet, calm game instead. Something we can do to get to know each other better, if we’re going to be roomies.” 

Suddenly I have no protests. Roomies? Is she planning on staying? 

“Sure. Whatever you want.” 

That, my dear friends, is something you should never ask a stranger. They seem to take it as permission to run rampant and take over and do things their way however they want to and make your life miserable. This simple, innocently phrased question cost me my freedom and my dignity... take heed, friends! Learn from my mistakes! Do not be so foolish as I, for I was ensnared into the singlemost awkward game of Truth or Dare of my entire existence!!

“Truth or Dare?” I ask her, when it’s my turn, watching her absentmindedly pick at a thread from her sleeve. 

“Truth.” Excellent, I think, I can now put my glorious plan into action!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- okie stop. Also, if you could stop talking to yourself and just get on with it already, that would be great. Thank myself very much.

“Why do you like this game?” I ask, making eye contact. She makes her adorable exasperated face again, sighing. I’ve been asking variations of this question since we began four rounds ago. 

“I don’t think you understand how this game, works, Eliza. When I say truth, you’re supposed to ask me a question about myself.”   
“Asking you about why you like something isn’t about yourself?” 

“Well, yes, but-”

“Then I think I’m playing the game properly. Seems like you’re avoiding the question, in fact. DO YOU SURRENDER?” 

“I like this game because usually it works well in getting to know someone.” She glares at me, “The purpose of the game is to learn about each other.”

“Are you implying we’re not learning about each other??” I gasped, feigning hurt. 

“I’m learning all about how you’re a stubborn buttcheek!!” 

“I’m sticking my tongue out at you internally.” 

“Why not externally?” she asked, seeming to be annoyed.

“I don’t know if you are the kind of person who would grab it!”

“Ew, no!” 

“See? We’re learning about each other just because I’m being my charming self! Let’s play something else. UNO? Checkers?” 

“I’m tired, actually. Can we figure out sleeping arrangements?” 

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” I’m suddenly serious. I hope that I haven’t annoyed her too badly. I stand up quickly, reaching down to help her up. 

“This way, Commander.” She smiles reassuringly at me, and I am happy to report that she took my hand to help her up. 

“You just helped me up so you could show off how strong you are.” She comments on our way to the stairs. 

“Maybe.” I hide my blush by facing straight ahead. 

“Maybe.” She echoes, still holding my hand, “Maybe you should be the Princess.” 

“Yeah?” 

“‘Cause you got a castle and everything.” I looked at her, noting the way her eyes had drifted shut, depending only on my hand to guide her. Because her eyes were closed, I also watched the sleepy drooping of her smile and the way her breathing had slowed in deep, relaxing breaths. It was when I quietly bumped into a table that I remembered I was supposed to be guiding her, not walking into things. Quickly, I maneuvered us both around the table to the stairwell. 

“Stairs.” I said softly, not wanting to disrupt her sleepy trance, not wanting her to trip. Her eyes opened, still bright despite the exhaustion I now realized was evident in her entire frame. It was this brightness that should have warned me of what she was about to say.

“Carry me, princess.” There’s just the hint of a smirk at the corners of her lips, and it's then that I learnt one of my favorite things about her- sleepy Alicia is an uninhibited, playful Alicia.

“Come on, you can do it.” I tried to motivate her to climb the steps, but instead she giggled, giggled, and groped my upper arm, cooing my own words back at me; “Come on. You can do it, princess.” 

So, of course, I carried her up the staircase, into the guest bedroom. 

“Mmmm,” she hummed, arms around my neck and head pressed into my shoulder, “told you you could do it.” 

“You sure did, sleepyhead.” I snorted softly, turning to leave her after I found her an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants to change into. 

“Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu,” she called after me, flopping over on the bed and kicking her feet up, “i can’t reach my shoes, get them for me?” This time, instead of arguing, I went directly over and took off her stinky shoes, gently undoing the laces and pulling them off. Then I took off those socks for good measure, because I couldn’t even tell what color they were supposed to be anymore. 

“Good? Because I don’t usually take off someone’s clothes till after the third date.” I teased, trying to bring my tough girl persona back and moving towards the door, towards the comfort of my own bed. 

“Hm. Bummer. My arms are tired.” Her answer made me choke on air, and I kept my face turned away to hide my expression, continuing to leave, but her voice stopped me. Again. 

“I don’t want to be alone. Please.” Her voice had lost it’s lightly childish tone, and I found myself drawn to her by a tugging in my bosom. 

“Hey. You’re safe here. I promise.” I touched her hand, telling myself it was just reassuring her, but I felt my own heartbeat’s pace slow in response, as if I had been waiting for the peace that being near her, both physically and emotionally like this, as though we had always been here to support and smooth over each other’s fears. 

“I know,” she whispers, “I know I’m safe. But I just… I can’t be alone right now. Please?” Her eyes are glistening in the light, and it’s all I can do to not break down and cry myself. 

“Hey, I won’t ever leave you.” I won’t. Not if I can help it. 

“Okay.” she draws in a shaky breath, and I see the realization in her eyes when she remembers she doesn’t necessarily want to get undressed in front of a complete stranger. 

“I’m going to go stand in this corner, okay? We can talk about something so you don’t feel so alone.” I move to do so as soon as I see the relief in her eyes, a split second before she nods. 

“So why wait until after the third date?” she asks me, and I imagine her taking her shirt off as she does, which kills me, and it takes me an embarrassing moment before I can reply. 

“Hardly anyone is honest about anything on a first date. They could be a complete psycho and you would think they’re some super nice how-are-they-still-single, like teacher or something. Then the second date, when you’re more comfortable around each other, it gets harder to hide your crazy. The third date is usually the marker for when you can have a deep, emotional yet intellectual conversation with someone. For me that’s important.” 

“Whoever knew that you were so deep?” Alicia quips. 

“My mother. She had to feed me. She kept asking where it all went, and now you get to know.” the words were out before I could stop them. I inhaled sharply, and in the silence that followed, I could hear the soft rustling sounds of fabric on skin. 

“Done.” she informed me, “Your turn.”

“My clothes are in my room, down the hall.” When I draw near to her on the way to the door, she reaches out to take hold of my hand again, squeezing it in what I interpreted as ‘thank you’. 

“Where’s your mother now?” she asks, gently, afraid. I wish to comfort her, but I can’t. This time what she’s afraid of is real, and I can’t hide the pain in my voice when I say, “Gone.” 

“Mine too. I got separated from her and the others.” I’m unsure what to say, torn between promising to find them and wanting her to forget that an outside world even exists. Thankfully, she changes the subject.   
“How do you tell someone’s a psychopath on the second date?” she flops herself face down on my bed before I can say anything, and it’s darker in here and I don’t have the heart to tell her to move so I let her stay, pulling open a drawer in the dark and fumbling for clean pants. 

“Well, uh, you see, they start doing psychopath things.” I say, trying not fall over when I step into the pants. 

“Oh. Psychopath things. Like having bombs and giving them all names?” 

“Nah, more like having the audacity to fall when a horde of zombies are chasing you.” 

“I was tired!” 

“Big D and his friends saved your life!” 

“I thought it was you that did that.” 

“Well it was him.” 

“Okay.”

“Okay.” 

“Thanks, though. For saving me.” 

“My pleasure, Heda. Do you want to go back to the guest room? There are two beds in there.” 

“Too tired. Can we stay here?” 

“Okay.” 

That’s the last thing we said to each other that night, but somehow, she wasn’t tired enough to get up from the bed anyways, to move under the blankets and impatiently pull me into bed with her when I sheepishly sat in a chair next to the bed. Somehow, I was tired enough to let her. Somehow, it felt more like home than anything had for the past 5 years, 4 months, and 12 days.

**Author's Note:**

> please review and remember, #ClexaNeverDies.


End file.
